To say that my God is good, would be the understatement of all eternity. He has poured out SO much, not to mention salvation. My desire is to be like Him, to love like Him, to see like Him… But where does that start?
God has poured out great vision in my life. There are HUGE things that have been on my heart for years and I’m sure things that I have yet to realize. But something I am learning, is that as I grow, as I learn how to hear the voice of God, as I pour in to the vision that I think is right in front of me, my vision needs to die and be re-born.
Years ago I was given the opportunity to travel to NYC and perform at the IAJE (International Association of Jazz Educators) jazz festival. There I met and listened to some of my favorite jazz singers and players. I remember listening to Kevin Mohoganey do his thing, and then our group from Bellevue College was set to go up. My nerves were shot just knowing that it was possible for one of these artists to hear us… to hear me…
Well the performance went amazing, and I was approached by two young ladies who handed me a card. They proceeded to tell me about a scholarship offered by Berklee College of Music. This scholarship would have completely paid for my schooling and housing at Berklee. If you don’t know already, Berklee is probably one of the absolute best schools any musician could hope to attend. Of course, I about passed out after getting this information. I was invited to come meet one of their scouts at their booth a little ways down the hall. I began speaking with more people involved at Berklee, and set up the audition, which would have taken place in LA. Every person I had talked with had heard samples of my work, and basically had told me that I was going to get the scholarship. I all but had it in the bag, and was flying high with vision for my musical career as a singer/songwriter.
During this time, I had also been attending The Rock Church in Monroe, WA. I was approached by some of the leadership there who began telling me about the internship program called The Quarry, which would take a year out of my life. This program would require me to focus almost 100% of my time in to serving at the church, studying for bible classes, as well as various other challenges. Logically, with Berklee knocking down my door, I was thinking, “No Way!”
I began praying and moving forward towards Berklee, but something felt disjointed. something wasnt right at all.
What I was feeling, was my vision dying, and my first reaction was to fight for it and try to revive what was left. But that’s not what God had in mind.
I remember sitting down one morning at the computer, coffee in hand of course, reading about Berklee again for the umpteenth time, and weeping. Every word I was getting from the Lord was telling me that Berklee was not His plan for me, and that The Quarry internship program is where He wanted me. So against all logic, and many family and friends opinions, I turned Berklee down to step into a year of serving and growing. My vision had officially been pronounced dead at the scene.
But out of that death came a year of my life that would ultimately change me from the inside out. From the death of one vision, life burst forth and new vision was birthed! Or rather, there was a rebirth of my old vision.
You see, for life to truly begin, our vision needs to die inside of us. It’s at that moment that the seed from that vision is buried in the ground ultimately bursts forth in new life! So be encouraged!
You feel that your vision has died, and you havent seen it come back from the dirt. Well maybe you need to pray about the rebirth of that vision! Maybe you need to pray that God would open your eyes to see the vision HE has for your life! We need to die, in order to live. So give it up and let it happen! hat doesn’t mean that its going to be exciting and all warm and fuzzy. In fact, to be frank, its gong to SUCK! But the life that God raises out of that ground with that seed will completely overtake you!!!